Learning to Not Be Ashamed of Our Mental Illness w/Alé Diggs

– Hey everybody, happy Monday. Since I’m always saying
it’s with your experience and my expertise that we work together towards a healthy mind and a healthy body, today I wanted to invite
my close friend Alé to share her inspirational story. I’ve known Alé for a
very long time, and she has such great advice to share. She’s going to walk us
through how she knew she needed help, how hard it
was to get that help because her family didn’t believe
in mental health treatment, and how show she overcame
all obstacles in order to do what she knew was best for her. So this is my good friend
Alé, and she has graciously made time for us, because
I really think that she has a great story to tell and I wanted to give her a platform to
share it, and what better way to do it than on YouTube? – Hey! – And if you guys don’t
remember, if you haven’t watched my DrawMyLife from like, eons
ago, I talked about how I was a sales rep for a while, and
that’s how I met Alé, I used to call on her office and we
became good friends and have more stories to share that
we won’t about Stagecoach and extravaganzas, but we’ll save those– – And the hotel. (laughs)
– Yes! (laughs) We’ll save those for,
that’s a whole nother video. – That is a whole nother video. – But today I wanted to
talk a little bit about your experience with mental health,
mental illness, especially, she works in a psychiatrist’s
office, just so you guys know that, and I’m curious
’cause you grew up in LA. – I did, literally, good
old-fashioned south central, went to Crenshaw High, so C-House, so yeah. – And was mental health ever talked about? – It wasn’t, it wasn’t, I
grew up in what some would say is a good old-fashioned
African-American household. When there was an issue we’d
go to church and pray about it. You know, if you’re sad about
something, you pray about it, you talk to your mom, you talk
to your aunties, if you’re a little bit too much of a
crybaby, you’re a drama queen. – Oh, so even if you’re
sensitive and things hurt your feelings,
they’re like, okay. (claps) – Tough it out, come on,
you’re a big girl, you know. Stop all that crying.
– Yeah. – And that’s how I was
raised, so for the longest, I thought I was crazy, I
did, I thought I was crazy, I thought no one understood
me, and I was, I was labeled a crybaby, I was labeled a
crybaby and sensitive and don’t joke with Alé, she
gonna be in the corner crying, you know what I mean?
– Oh yeah. – And then sayings like that– – Just make it worse.
– Almost made it worse, ’cause now it’s like, oh
god, I can’t even be upset about whatever I’m going through. So that’s how I was
raised, and it doesn’t mean that my family wasn’t
supportive, they always were– – Yes, and you have a wonderful family and huge support system.
– Huge, huge, abnormally so. But it was never discussed in
the context of mental health. Maybe she needs to see a
therapist, maybe things like that, so that was never discussed
when I was younger, yeah. – Okay, and then flash forward,
I know all the answers but I’m gonna pretend I don’t.
(Alé laughs) Flash forward to I guess maybe
five or six or seven years ago, I don’t know when,
but when did you realize that maybe you should see a professional or even understanding what that was? – It wasn’t until, I think,
when I started working at the psychiatrist’s office,
it’s been 10 years now, so I started in 2009 and oh
god, it has been 10 years. It’s 2019!
(Kati laughs) And I would see the
different patients coming in, young, old, black, white,
orange, green, everything with every different issue,
and sometimes when I learned what they were going through, I’m like wait, that’s called depression? I always thought that meant
you were a crybaby or you’re just a drama queen or things
like that, so that’s when I started to educate myself
on it, once I start seeing at work, so it was really
my office, and seeing these aren’t crazy people,
it’s everyday everybody. – Yeah, from businesswomen–
– Teachers, doctors, mothers, fathers, students, just
literally everybody. Not just ugly people (laughs)
you know, beautiful everybody. – I think there’s a lot of,
like, that’s the stigma, right? Is we assume that mental
illness looks a certain way when it doesn’t discriminate,
it’s anybody, everybody, and now that you’ve recognized
at that point when you were like, oh, so that’s depression, huh. Did you look at your
family and be like, oh! ‘Cause that happened–
– Well a conversation was had, so my mom’s older sisters,
and I can say this because they’re totally
okay with me discussing it, I talked to them about it
because my mom passed away back in 2010, so it was something
that I’ve never talked to her about, I never got a chance to. So I talked to her sisters,
and then they explained to me about my grandmother
who would literally go into the room, close the
door, and be there for days and not leave, and remember
there were seven of them. So they just knew mommy
is going through whatever she’s going through, but
they never knew what it was. – ‘Cause she never talked about it. – She never talked about it,
she never had a therapist, she never had psychiatrist,
Gammy is what I called her, would check out; she would go
into her room, lock herself in there for days, they said,
and then they were all kind of raising each other,
taking care of each other. And so when they explained
that it made me cry, I’m like, (fake sobs) I’m not crazy,
you know, this is real! – Yeah, and we know there
is a genetic component. – For sure, for sure.
– It’s not all that, but there’s definitely, you
can always track it back. – Yeah, for sure, and
it made so much sense. It made so much sense, and yeah. And then you know my story, how
my mom became a quadriplegic when I was 12, so between all of that– – Honestly the stress of
that and the grieving– – All of that, learning to take care of my mother 100 percent,
learning to become more independent, and then
also dealing with regular being a 12- and 13-year-old.
– Which is the worst. – Which is just because it’s
Tuesday, so dealing with all of that, you know, my aunt
she told me once, we went because it was at a time
when everyone was busy, everyone had kids, everyone
had gone on, the adults in my life, I mean my aunties, uncles. She said she wished that
they had maybe got us some therapy then, us being
my twin brother and I. – Yeah, especially, not are
teens hard, teenage time is shitty and horrible,
but going through the stuff with your mom, that’s a lot. – It is a lot, and I
wish we had done that, it would have been so
helpful, because again, I have a huge family,
they were supportive, but just that extra stuff,
you know what I mean? The being angry, I was so mad. – Of course. – At everybody (laughs) I
was mad at everybody I knew. I was mad at my twin
brother, why doesn’t he have to change mommy’s diaper, you know? – Yeah. – I was mad at maybe an
auntie, why isn’t she over here taking care of her sister? Why is daddy working two
jobs, well duh, he has to work two jobs because
mom was like this, but when you’re 12 and 13– – You don’t get it and it seems unfair. – You don’t get it.
– You’re like angry at the world and God and–
– So I’m angry at everybody, I’m sad and I’m just
this nutcase in my head, I just feel crazy, yeah.
– Yeah. And I think that’s how a lot
of us feel, though, because especially if it’s not talked
about, we don’t have any words to explain, that’s why when
people say, oh, how do you talk to your kids about it, I’m
like, exactly like you talk to anybody about it, because
we don’t know anything, so there’s no judgment
or stigma, kids are like, oh, depression, so you’re sad, got it. And that would have
been so helpful for you. – Well the word ignorant
has been bastardized to be this mean word,
but it’s a real word, the term means not
knowing, like I’m ignorant to fixing a car.
– Yeah, same. – I was ignorant to mental
health, I was ignorant to verbiage such as depression
and what it meant, you know? So I had to become educated
in it to help myself, to encourage friends
and family, and I still, it’s a daily struggle, it’s
gonna be, I hate to say forever but you know, it’s a thing.
– Yeah, it’s a thing. And so when you finally
started to see someone, what was that like?
(Alé laughs) – She’s funny ’cause she
knows the real story. So I had what I guess we would
call a pretty bad episode. I don’t remember the year,
this had to be 2000– – 15, 14?
– 15, this was, yeah. And the doctor I was
working for, he said hey, he was seeing it already,
he was seeing it coming on, he had saw my mood change
at work and I was still functioning, that’s another
thing, there are so many functioning people–
– Oh totally, we talk about it all the time, ’cause people
assume it means your grandma– – No, I was still going to
work, I was still kicking ass at work, okay, I was still
being amazing, but people who knew me, especially the
doctor was seeing it, and he suggested hey, why
don’t you call this man? I’m like okay so I called the
man and I make an appointment. – And he’s lovely by the
way, I really love him. She asked me about him,
(Alé laughs) and I was like, I like him.
– And she did, yeah. So I walked into his office
and I said, and there, sitting in the chair, you have this
little, short, older white man with glasses, I’m talking
older as in like, 70’s, and I’m like,
– Completely white hair. – Why the hell would I sit
here and talk to this man? What is he gonna be able to
tell me, a 20-something-year-old African-American woman who
grew up in South Central, whatever I’m going through,
so I literally walked in with an attitude, I did.
– (laughs) you? Whatever.
– Me, I did, I walked in, I said, oh lord, I’m about to
waste my time with this man. And I promise you, ten
minutes into the conversation, I’m like (sighs) you
get it, I’m not crazy! All I had to do was explain
to him how I was feeling, what I had been going through
over the years, and he got it. He made everything I felt make sense. I explained something and
he helped me to understand what I was feeling, and it
just was the best experience of my adult life. (laughs)
– Yeah, and that relief. – It was a relief.
– Like that weight that you’ve been carrying, you’re like, (sighs). – Oh my god, it was just the
talking, someone who doesn’t know me, who is unbiased, who can tell me when I’m right and wrong. – Which is so helpful, I think
that’s why therapy is helpful for me, ’cause people
are like, why do you need to see a therapist, I’m
like, ’cause I can’t do it to myself, ’cause I always
say that I win or I’m right. – Right, hello? I’m team Alé, so uh.
(both laugh) Sometimes you gotta have
somebody drag you back, she’s done it, I went back
to an ex-boyfriend once, and Kenny was like, all
right girl, look here now, this is what we’re not gonna
do, and you need people whether it’s a therapist,
whether it’s a good friend to be 100 percent honest, and
so this is not gonna work, this is not it, you’re
wrong, you’re wrong. – And here’s how we can fix it, maybe. – And I love you enough
to tell you you’re wrong, in the therapist’s sense,
I care about you enough to tell you that you’re wrong.
– Yeah. And so you stuck it out, you
still see him, Frederick? – I do not see him anymore,
and that’s just good old-fashioned insurance
change and things like that, and so I did start seeing
someone else within my network who I did love as well, and it
has just been a life-changing experience to this day,
it’s almost a safety net. You know you can talk to
your therapist about things, whether it’s relationships,
whether it’s work, whether it’s finances, it’s
somebody unbiased who can honestly help you sort
through the things, give you coping mechanisms to
deal with some of that, ’cause life is hard.
– It’s hard, it’s really, and it’s always changing,
that’s the thing. As soon as you get comfortable,
something else happens. – Exactly, if it ain’t one
thing, it’s gonna be another. So that’s why I like the
term coping mechanisms to deal with coping things,
we don’t have to let everything make us spiral
downward, okay, it’s a new issue. Okay, how do I deal with
this in a healthy way? – Yeah.
– Yeah, so. – I like it, it’s like
you’re watching my videos or something.
(both laugh) – I mean, you know, you get
to turn Katy on sometimes when you’re brushing your
teeth, just let her play. And we gotta tell them
the story about when I was in the airport, too,
and with that one time. – Well I wanna finish up
this, because I’m curious, did your first psychiatrist
recommend medication? And were you nervous, or
how did you get over– – Yes, yes and yes. So he did discuss an
anti-depressant with me, and I was very hesitant, I was, I was. It also, for me in the
beginning, it didn’t help that I worked in a
psychiatrist’s office, I’m like, I’m not one of my patients, you know? I don’t need to take
this, and I tried not to. And then it got back to where
I had another bad episode, and then I went ahead and
tried taking it and it was almost immediate, it was creepy
how quickly things started to change, how my mood started to change, and thankfully I never
had any side effects. The whole part of psychopharmacology,
sometimes you have to play around with what works for you. What works for me might not
work for her and vice versa. But I didn’t have any negative
issues or anything like that, but I did end up taking an
anti-depressant and you know, it changed my life, I was super happy. Not happy because of the
medication, but just happy because I was finally feeling better. – Yeah, you felt like yourself, probably, without the burden and the fog. – And I stopped being embarrassed,
I stopped being ashamed because at one point I felt
embarrassed. I’m like dang, I can’t function like a regular
person without medicine? – I know, a lot of people
think that and feel that way, ’cause you’re like, but
would we say the same, so this is, I always
push back, would you say the same if it was heart medication? – Touche. – Like would I be embarrassed
’cause my heart doesn’t quite beat regularly, you’d be like,
no, of course you’re gonna take that, and it’s no different, right? – Exactly. – I don’t know why, but it’s
funny ’cause we do think about it differently and
talk about it differently. – We do, yes, but it is a
condition or a medical issue, it is, 100 percent.
– That’s why insurance, yeah. – It’s the same as cholesterol. – Exactly.
– Yes, and thankfully the laws changed with insurance,
because before it was harder to get appointments at the
psychiatrist’s office because of pre-existing conditions,
and when all of that changed, we were able to see people
without having to deal with the pre-existing condition
drama and all that jazz, so that was really good.
– Yeah, yay. And so by going to this,
going through your process and learning about it and
coming to your own realization, do you think, over this
time, things have changed in your family with your support system, or do you think it’s
opened conversations up? – 500 percent, I’ve had it
where I’ve had my aunt has come with me, different aunts,
my cousin has come with me, literally, and it’s become
a thing that’s like I said, not embarrassing, you know,
there was time, I’ve been pretty good for a while now,
but every now and then if I get a little down, hey girl,
you call your therapist lately? And it’s totally not
weird, it’s totally not you’re the weirdo in the family. – No, it’s like, I’m
noticing you’re not yourself, let’s get you some help.
– Yes, it’s totally accepted, even in my church life,
you know, they talk about, my pastor’s wife is a licensed MFT. – Oh, hey!
– Yes, exactly. – I love it.
– So it’s definitely becoming more and more discussed, the
stigma around it is becoming less and less, you see
celebrities talking about it more often now, and again
in my personal life, on the contrary, everybody
is so supportive, it never ceases to amaze me,
it never ceases to amaze me. I don’t feel uncomfortable,
I’m open, any situation, I encourage young girls
I meet, women my age, like girl, get you a therapist, you know? It makes a difference, it
makes a huge difference. – And so if looking back,
obviously telling people to get help earlier, is there
anything else you wish friends of yours or cousins, aunties,
what they could have done to make it better for you at that time, do you know what I mean? – Yeah, I know what you mean,
but the answer is the one that you just said, it’s
let’s discuss it earlier. Let’s see the signs and
start encouraging each other and working on it now, let’s
not wait until someone’s in their 20’s, you know what
I mean, to discuss this. Let’s make it okay. I support you, you wanna go
to a therapist, you want me to go with you the first time, sure I’ll go.
– Want me to help pay your copay, I’ll, yeah.
– Yeah, want me to help you pay your copay, it’s a real
thing, it’s a real thing. – ‘Cause that can be the
one thing stopping you. – It is the one thing that
stops a lot of people. – Totally. – Let’s not be uncomfortable
to discuss uncomfortable things and finances is always
uncomfortable to discuss. – Yep, pair that with mental
health, and it’s like– – Oh my god, hello,
it’s the perfect storm. – Nobody talks about it, yeah. – But yes, that’s what it is. You see the signs with
someone, and we don’t have to embarrass you, let’s pull
you to the side, hey girl. I’ve been thinking about you,
noticing you look a little, you know, down lately,
wanna go out for coffee? Let’s talk about it, I
got some suggestions. There was one girlfriend,
I said, you know what, Can I see your insurance? I’ll call for you. – Oh, you’re so nice!
– And get a list of the doctors and email them to you. – Oh, yeah.
– So stuff like that, yeah. – Ways to help out.
– Let’s stop ignoring it, we see it, we know our friends
and family, we know it. The kids, you know what I mean? Not saying that every kid,
you know, is something, but if you notice something
specific about that one 10-year-old all the time,
hey let’s talk about it. – Yeah, agreed. – Let’s not ignore it. – No, sooner the better. – Let’s not chop it off to maybe, ugh, she’s just a drama queen 13-year-old. It could be something else.
– She’s too sensitive, he’s too sensitive.
– Yeah, all that, so. That is what I would say,
just acknowledging it earlier, paying attention to the
signs, if you don’t know, educate yourself, it’s so
much information out there. – Oh, it’s so much easier
to access that now. – It’s so much easier now. – It’s not like you have to
go to Encyclopedia Britannica, you can like, just Google some stuff. – You can look at Katy’s
page, hello, that’s a big one. – Let’s tell the story
of the airport, then. Let’s not forget.
– Ah, that was so cute. (laughs) It was a red-eye, so
it was literally the middle of the night–
– Weren’t you flying east? – I was flying east, I
used to go to D.C. often, my best friend lived there. – Now she’s here. – Now she’s here, hey
Daphne, so what happened? Oh, so you’re half-asleep in the airport, not paying attention, and
then I started hearing Katy’s voice, I’m sitting
here like, why do I hear my friend talking, and so
I turn around, and I turn around and behind me, this
teenager girl is sitting there watching her YouTube videos,
like, that’s my girl! And so I text Katy in the
middle of the night, Katy! I’m in the airport and this
girl is watching your videos and it was just so cute, it was so cute. – And she was like, she
probably thought I was crazy. – Not probably, she did.
– So if you’re watching, let us know in the comments, ’cause
that would be really cute. – That would’ve been super
cute, that would be really cute, so it was so nice and it makes
me so proud, and it’s also helpful to have a friend
that there’s nothing that she doesn’t know that I can tell her. (both laugh) Absolutely nothing, and
I definitely encourage us to surround ourselves with
friends and family who support everything, good, bad and ugly. – Agreed, we need people in
our corner ’cause life is hard. – Life is hard, yeah. – Well thanks for sharing your story. I hope that that helps some
of your, because I think there’s a lot of different
stigmas and different cultures, people grow up in a whole
different way of thinking, and a lot of us, it’s important
to remind ourselves of that and to know that having a
support system is important and talking about it
early, so great, thank you. – You’re welcome! – And we’ll see you guys next time. – Take care, bye. (light electronic music)

100 thoughts on “Learning to Not Be Ashamed of Our Mental Illness w/Alé Diggs

  • It’s sorta weird in my family because my mum and her side don’t really understand but support me. My dads side don’t understand and don’t want anything to do with it so a lot of my counselling and things to do with mental health are quite hidden from my dad and his side of the family because whenever it gets mentioned it causes arguments. The hard thing is that I live with my dad and not my mum so on the odd time that my dad has to get involved, it doesn’t end well.

  • Great video. I would like to see a video dealing with people who struggle with resentment due to things that have occurred in their lives. 😊

  • For me what is hard is that I don't know how to talk about stuff that I am dealing with because I don't know if I'm mentally ill or just autistic and also the things that make me anxious are usually based on my autistic experience and not something people usually relate to. Given that I was long undiagnosed and told that what I naturally do is considered pathological doesn't make it easier.

  • I’ve really thought about taking my sons to go get some help. They are not really showing any signs yet but it has went through three generations so far and I suffered alone going up.

  • Hi Kati , do you have any tips of how to maintain mental health when your country is full of social revolts and there is a weird atmosphere in general? 🙁

  • Love this video! I really like Alé's personality, she's so bubbly. I relate a lot with her experience, family-wise. More videos about people's experience would be so useful to do. Great Job Kati! <333

  • I grew up in foster homes where they didn't even acknowledge depression as a real disorder. Just that something must be wrong with me and I should stop whatever it was and be like them. No thanks. If I had to choose, I'll take depression and anxiety over ignorance and bad judgement!

  • Is there anybody here who has traveled to a different country to work while having mental health problems? Because I'm Spanish and a friend of mine who lives in England told me there are job opportunities there and he's gonna help me. I'm feeling many emotions now, excitement and fear between them, of course. But I'd like to know, how did you feel when you went overseas to work? Is it a rewarding experience? Too scary? Would you encourage me to do it?
    Thank you!

  • Some people in the black community don't support family members who suffer from mental health issues. Family members will tell you stop acting crazy your embarrassing the family.

  • Absolutely love this video! It's so good to see mental health stories from different cultures. There's such a big stigma when it comes to mental health in the black community. My father never received help for his mental health because he grew up not knowing what the problem was, on top of feeling like the mental health system isn't for black people…he left when I young. My sister and I have struggled our whole lives as a result.

  • What happens when one knows and understands what the challenges and issues are and there is no improvement? I'm in therapy and have been on and off since I was 14 (25 years), I'm on medication, and I have ended and estranged myself from my toxic people and/or relationships; yet, I'm overwhelmed and drowning. I'm evaporating.

  • Hi Kati
    I wondered if you could answer my question…. I’m finding it really hard to not think about self harming etc in classes…..I’ve tried using my senses and sometimes it works but I often find that I need to talk or just be with someone who cares. I am seeing a counselor but I feel like if I ask for more than 1 session a week I’ll be ‘backsliding’ and bother her. What should I do? Thanks for all your videos you’re such an inspiration and a huge help!! X lots of love

  • Oh my gosh Kati, THANK YOU! When Ale´ was sharing her story I teared up a little because it kind of mirrored some things that I’ve been through with my mom (she’d be locked in her room for days, I’d have to take care of my younger brother cause Dad was always gone on business) and it felt good to have someone address the impact that family can have on mental health before therapy and treatment. I’m so glad that she was able to get help and that she has such a great support system! Also, I really liked that you both brought up how good friends are important because they can help you out and call you on your bullshit when you need it. You both definitely seem like a good example of healthy friendship like that, and I’m so happy you guys have each other for support! As always, another awesome video, Kati, thank you for everything that you do!

  • Love this video, I was just looking for a way to talk to my siblings about mental illness and this popped up, LOVE IT

  • I must ask you, Miss Morton:
    Do you believe that there could be new, unknown causes to depression that cannot be solved by most known treatments? I am not referring to Treatment-Resistant Depression. I refer to those who experience Major Depressive Disorder, but some of their reasons may be outside of the DSM, and common sense.

  • Do you have any advice on how to deal with family members who don’t believe in mental illness and how to help them understand for kids? My son has mental illness and I have family members that think we are making it up and he’s just drama and too sensitive. So they expect him to behave like other kids his age when he can’t. He is in therapy and has come leaps and bounds but they refuse to see it and think therapy is dumb and because I don’t punish the way the did means we don’t do anything. Which isn’t true but I just don’t know how to handle this anymore with them

  • Hi Miss Kati! Thanks for the video! Al'e's story is an encouragement to me. She is an inspiration!! Great interview!!👍🌹

  • It’s hard not to, especially in the medical field where it can affect your career and colleagues’/employers’ perceptions of you

  • On the 25th when I went to the ears nose and throat specialist, I found out that I have cancer!!! And then yesterday Monday the 28th Australian time, I had a PET scan!!! And next Monday the 4th of November I will be having a biopsy!!!

    I love you Kati!❤

  • Hi, I was wondering if you could do a video on going to therapy as a minor. I have talked to my parents and will start seeing a therapist but I'm worried about what I can talk about without my mom and dad knowing.
    love your videos💓

  • I think it's Ludacris to dismiss mental health because you don't dismiss physical sickness and there's so many mentally I'll people that don't even know it that's why it must be more awareness and advocated and especially because to better understand others who are mentally I'll especially with the dark triad of sociopaths psychopaths and covert overt malignant narcissistic consistent behavior symptoms that can save alot of hard trials &even your life SMH… So it needs to more aware it should be taught in public schools just as New York state has made it mandatory to teach because duh it's part of health the most important aspect of life is to have healthy self esteem and healthy relationships and so on… It needs to be pushed with all states

  • so i was talking with my med dr(different from my therapist in the clinic i go to) about what im doing to help my self through the down swing im going through, esp since my therapist left the clinic, so i say im watching a youtube channel, she asks which one.. im like kelly,katy, m something,, (i have serious short circuit brain at times) & she goes oh Kati morton,, im grin say yeah her we both nod at each other like "yeah she helps alot" cant really talk about because rules, ,,so yeah your channel is known at least in TN. you have touched & helped in so many lives.<3 thank you for being here.

  • I finally agreed to medication. I was feeling too afraid bc I have a LOOOONG history of addiction in my family. I try to put off getting prescriptions, for anything, until it can't be avoided. My meds aren't right yet but I have more good days than before.

  • If you look at the good the bad and the evil of society? All in the Family TV program or the Mom Show? Opening or loosening up people who have stiff stigmatic fears about mental problems Who fits in an ant society of you will do this or that in line pay a bunch of numbers and shame/ guilt religion? Are we worshipping death or life are we robots? No for most of us still thank God ( if you believe in one sorry ) Learning about epigenetics and how we are responsible for what happens to children in the womb. And what we are doing in life as well affects all of us chemically If we could inform the public without the dreaded privacy rules via PBS? As it's been on TV like PBS so people who aren't informed can become so?

  • My mom took me to the psychiatrist and made me swear on god that I wouldn’t tell anyone that I’m using pills. How should I not be embarrassed of my mental illness?

  • I was labeled as sensitive, too, from a young age. But this year at 27 years of age I was diagnosed with autism. It makes so much sense. And I know the difficulties ive had bc of it was a huge catalyst for my depression which started in my childhood.

  • I'm not ashamed of my mental illness!!…….but it seems that everyone else is!!!!lol….fuck em, that's wot i say…….a lot of them in society are madder that wot i will ever be……..their just not bright enough to realize it……being mad and aware of it, is not a bad thing in my opinion…but being mad and not aware of it…is outright dangerous!!!….I'm the canary in the coalmine!!lol…canary= human…coalmine=society, prison, matrix wotever you want to call it.

  • Why do we do any of this in life? Terrible things happen regardless of what we do. Good things, if they occur, are tiny and are overshadowed. Bad things in life are like a hair in food–it ruins it.

  • I so agree with the younger the better. I have people judge me all the time for having my 13yr old daughter (mind you she has an eating disorder, PTSD and other issues self harm) my 11yr old son who is ASD and other things and my 9yr old who has anxiety and adhd and odd in therapy saying they dont need it and they are just sensitive. I mustnt be a good parent because myself and 3 children are in therapy mostly diff issues me and my daughter are similar but mine are more complex.
    But i so hate the judgement and stigma especially around children/young teens.
    Thanks for this Kati xxx

  • hi kati, love the vid! can you do a video on clothing brands like brandy melville (they have one size fits all) that promote unhealthy self perceptions and possibly eating disorders

  • Thank you for uploading this! I really needed it!

    I am REALLY ashamed of my self harm. And I have relapsed yet again💔. And what scares me to my core is,that I am looking for different objects to make the cuts deeper. And I am so AFRAID to admit to myself and to others that I can’t keep myself safe. But I am WORKING so hard to keep myself safe and keeping busy.

    I just want to sleep so I don’t have to deal with ANYTHING. I’ll be ok once I get a behavioral therapist into place😊. I PROMISED my doctor that I’ll keep myself safe, so I won’t have to go to the ER. And I promised him I’ll tell my parents if I can’t keep myself safe as well😊.

    I listen to music and I listen to it some more and keep myself safe and busy with stuff🖤.

  • This was just breathtaking! Loved every minute of it. It’s also so helpful watching a fellow African American speak about her story… thank you!! X

  • Simple: my family just called me dull and lifeless when i had depression and I became educated about mental illness i just diagnosed my self with what is called depression i had it for 2 years it was severe but i have helped myself to overcome that because im a human who deserves to live normal, we have days where they’re sad and days where we feel happy, but even happy moments felt nothing like what they are called when i had depression, so I taught myself the meaning of life i taught myself what to actually feel in certain situations or towards certain things, and most importantly, i have became confident, strong and educated, not every bad comment or situation puts me down, i have the right to speak myself and express what i feel i was so closed and even if i was the victim I remember i was like this person whose tongue would stop functioning when i wanted to talk about my situation, 2 years of depression and even after a year and my family and friends still dont know anything they called it “teenagers stuff” where you feel different growing up but really in the inside i felt betrayed due to sexual assaults, btw this all happened when i was 15-16 years old now im 17💪🏻❤️

  • Hey! I've been watching your videos for a few weeks now, and it really feels like you are the only one who understands what I'm going through. I know that may not be true, but in my life there just isn't anyone who can help me. I guess I'm experiencing some of what the woman in the video was talking about, and decided to drop my first comment. I have a psychologist who I'm seeing twice a week, but she's trying to figure out what's wrong with me like so many therapists before her, and I just have so much to get of my chest. Communication is a bit tricky as she doesn't show much emotion. (Allthough we sometimes have interesting conversations.) No matter how much I want to, I know you can't help me directly, but I was hoping you may consider making a video sharing your thoughts about those of us who gets thrown from therapist to therapist, getting a long row of different diagnoses that doesn't match each other. I really just want to know what's wrong with me at this point and work to fix it, maybe you have suggestions. I will be going through you YT channel in search. If you read this, I just want to say thank you for making these videos, and giving us hope.

  • Wish there was someone in my life to pull me out of it and come with me to therapy. Everyone around me believes it’s only for crazy people and it scares me to go. I’ve been secluded in bed for almost a month. I stopped answering my phone and texts weeks ago and no one noticed. I work from home so I’d do minimal work to keep my job and then sleep, hoping I’m lucky enough to not wake up. I just want everything to stop hurting. Sorry for the venting.

  • I had a bad first appointment experience with psychiatrist. ㅠㅠ
    I feel the psychiatrist doesn't have any emphaty. He made me feel more guilty and guilty and guilty. There's some patients in his room. It's really uncomfortable to tell my feeling woth the psychiatrist. And he said that he can't listen my full story because he didn't have enough time. He only gave me about 10-15minutes to talk with him. And i got some medicine but i don't know what the heck is it. He asked me to go there again next week. But i really don't wanna go there anymore ㅠㅠ

  • Thank you for addressing the fact that you can have mental health issues and still be functioning. I sometimes find it hard to explain to people that having mental illness does not necessarily mean you are walking around all day being a total wreck. You can look perfectly fine on the outside and not be fine at all on the inside. I wish more people would understand that!

  • Mental health does not discriminate at all, and it was beautiful to see her tell her story from such a balanced viewpoint now. Also shows us all that there is hope and light at the end of this seemingly dark tunnel💕

  • She's awesome! Not even all professional mental health networks offer that service of finding doctors and giving you their numbers and addresses (though some do).

  • I am very proud of you my little sister for talking about your past issues and how you have overcame them. I am a proud big brother and I am so happy for you. I cannot wait till you become a mother so I can see my new niece and nephew.

  • Hey Kati, I've been really busy watching your videos recently and I was wondering if you could do an overall personality disorder video, talking about a few most common personality disorders (Bipolar pd, antisocial pd, ocpd…) and how they are grouped. I'd be truly glad if you do <3

  • Yeah, when I was under psychiatric care after a brain injury, anti-depressants was a big deal. It felt like it was a mental jacket. Know 20 plus years, I've learned medication is just needed sometimes.

  • #KatiFAQ hey kati:) i have a question for you! i am really struggling right now, my depression, self harm, and relationship with food, has gotten so bad and all i can think about is suicide. i want to get help and see a therapist but i’m only a teen with no job and i can’t afford it at all, and i don’t want to get my parents involved (that situation is complicated). what should i do? please help!

  • Yesss!!! Thank you Katie for having ale on. It was so encouraging to see a sister talk about mental health. The narrative of black women having to stifle their emotions and keep working till they break is so common. I started seeing a therapist for 5 months now and it is life changing.
    Thanks for the video Katie and Ale!

  • I love the range of the approach on this channel. Holistically, there is little I have seen that is a more powerful and positive catalyst. You people teach me pretty much everything I know about mental health and a lot more, really and I respect everything around this immensely. Every video and effort lays another brick and eventually, the good of that is inescapable and an amazing example.

  • remember no matter how hard it is that things will always get better, things will always improve. You've just got to stick in there and seek as much support off your friends and family because having other people by your side understanding and wanting to help you make things so much easier to get through. Just don't isolate yourself and b yourself. There is always someone who cares about you. Just remember that❤️❤️❤️

  • i needed this right now i stuggled with anxiety and depression and i am so ashamed but i need to know that i do not need to be ashamed it is just hard but i am working on learning to not be ashamed of mental illness and i can related to her so much thanks kati for having her on love you both 🙂 happy almost halloween have a good one 🙂

  • Biggest request ever I dont know what the answer would be for this

    Hank green back on and talk about how he figured out he has autism and the tests done

    That way people know that there are tests for autism

  • I own my mental illness. I’m not really concerned how people feel about me when I mention it. I figure, if I’m not afraid to talk about it and they see that their coworker, fiend, or family member talks about it, then maybe they’ll realize that being mental ill doesn’t make you less of a person. I just want to be able to express how I feel and what my “issues” are and I want them to see that they can too. We shouldn’t have to hide the fact that our minds may need a little help being healthy. If I can talk openly about my mental health I hope that people see that it’s nothing to be scared of.

  • Can you do a video about Somatic OCD(also known as Sensorimotor OCD)? The problem I see is that a lot of amateurs do videos on the topic and I always think it's better when actual professionals who know how to treat this do a video.

  • Hi kati
    Beause of yout video I am so thankful I am getting a therapist but I am glad that I can just tell who I want to tell and I dont have to tell everyone. I am ony telling certain people because I get made fun of for having had one. I used to go I stopped because she moved but I was struggling to let myself feel and all I was feeling was guilt and hatred to my feelings. I hate the way I feel I feel like what happened was my fault and I blame myself every day.
    It would mean the world to me if you gave me some tips in the reply section about how to remain calm and have less anxiety until I get in. I am on the waiting list right now.

  • my mum blamed my behaviour when i was a kid on me being a bad person. now as an adult i am not functioning and am essentially beyond help. if she'd have recognised the symptoms, she may have got me therapy. and i could have been saved.

  • hi Katie, I've been hearing voices saying to kill myself. what should I do about this? I can't talk to my parent's cuz they think this is all for attention even though it's not and I'm scared to talk to my therapist cuz I'm scared she will have to tell my parents since I'm only 16. what should I do about this?

  • Hi Kati love your videos!
    My question is what do I do if I can’t put anything into words?
    Since starting university things have been slowly getting worse, I’ve been having more panic attacks and feeling more depressed than before and even slipped up with some old bad coping strategies that I’d not been using in ages. Yet even though things are worse and I want to talk about it all more with my parents and therapist I can’t find ways to vocalise this and always end up brushing it off and saying I’m fine because it’s easier. I’m so bad at opening up even though I so desperately want to and worry that maybe I’ve accidentally made it all up because if I was really sick and this was all the truth then I wouldn’t be so bad at talking about it right?

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