WHAT I LEARNED THE HARD WAY | Adulting 101


Looking back to graduating high school over
10 years ago, I barely even recognize myself. Even looking back to when I graduated college
or more recently, medical school, I’ve changed so much that I feel like a completely different
person. I like to think I’ve come a long way. In this video, we’ll cover some of the strategies
and insights I’ve learned in being an effective adult. What’s going on guys, Dr. Jubbal, MedSchoolInsiders.com. These tips will start from foundational principles
and build in specificity from there. To see the full list, along with timestamps,
check out the description. First, let’s take a deep breath. There isn’t a magical age at which everything
makes sense, or when it all clicks and you’ve finally got it all figured out. After becoming a doctor, I have become more
acutely aware, not less, of how much I do not know. I know, it’s ok. I was disappointed when I learned this as
well. When I was 18, I would look at those 10-15
years older than me and think “wow, life is going to be so much different when I’m
their age.” And now that I’m one of those people, I
can say many things have in fact changed – my personality, my fears, my strengths, my weaknesses,
my maturity — that last one is actually debatable — but many things have remained
the same. At the end of the day, we’re all just improvising
and figuring life out as we go along, so don’t let that discourage you. You’ll grow more comfortable with the uncertainty
and more confident in navigating it, but the uncertainty will always remain. That being said, there are certain skills
and mindsets that will make the transition to adulthood much smoother. This first skill is a meta-skill of sorts,
meaning it will help you pick up other skills. That skill is learning. If there is one thing I hope you take away
from this YouTube channel and our website, it’s learning how to learn. And while I’ve covered all the best and
scientifically proven methods of learning more effectively, including the study tricks
and strategies that saved me in medical school, that isn’t enough. You must also learn to think for yourself
and question your own assumptions. They say you’re the average of the 5 people
you spend the most time with. I say you’re the average of all your inputs. Choose wisely the people you spend time with,
but also the books you read, the TV shows you watch, and the news articles and political
slants you expose yourself to. It’s natural to associate yourself with
people and ideas that you agree with. But this is a dangerous path, and will foster
close-mindedness, intolerance, and stunt your own maturity and development. Practicing open-mindedness means not becoming
emotionally reactive when someone has a differing viewpoint. It means reading broadly, and expanding your
perspective beyond your current comfort zone. Don’t just expose yourself to what you know
and agree with. Each of us only has 24 hours in a day. On one hand, it’s a discouraging truth,
as there’s so much more I wish I could do if I only had more time. On the other hand, that’s incredibly inspiring,
as every human who has ever lived and done great things had the same 24 hours that you
do. That doesn’t mean to work as hard as you
can in those 24 hours. That’s not a good idea, which I learned
the hard way. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. People often use this phrase to justify not
working too hard, but it cuts both ways. As a marathon, you don’t want to burn yourself
out by working too hard and ignoring healthy habits. But as a marathon, you also must put in consistent
and calculated effort, as being lazy or undisciplined will be harder to make up for later. There are a few videos on the channel and
blog posts on the website that cover every skill you need in order to manage your time
better than even a CEO. In the grand scheme of things, don’t forget
to prioritize sleep, exercise, proper nutrition, productivity, and fun. Each of these elements in a balance is critical
for long term success and sustainability. Your systems are perfectly designed to produce
the results they get. If you don’t like the results, then you
have to tweak the systems. Or as James Clear says, you don’t rise to
the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. No matter how hard you work to optimize your
systems, there will always be ways to improve them. Regularly reflect and alter your systems,
which alters your habits, which ultimately alters your life trajectory. In your experimentation, familiarize yourself
with tools to integrate into your system. I’ve played around with task managers and
landed on Things3 as my app of choice. I’ve chosen Google Calendar which syncs
to Apple Calendar on my devices, and I use Evernote to organize most of the content and
information in my life. And I use HabitShare to track the progress of
new habits I’m working to implement. These may not be the best for you, and that’s
fine. But don’t be afraid to experiment and try out
different systems to see what is best for you. After years of experimentation, I now live
by my calendar. For most people, that level of structure is
overkill. But when I travel, I don’t plan ahead and
instead I let things unfold spontaneously. For some, that’s not structured enough. My biggest and most transformational periods
in my life came after enduring extreme challenges. When you hit rock bottom, you can only go
up, and there’s something beautiful and liberating in that. But we don’t have to wait for fecal matter
to hit the fan in order to experience growth and transformation. By simply walking toward your fears, rather
than running away, you will open up a new reality for yourself. For me, public speaking was a significant
obstacle. I worked towards improving that, and while
it was initially scary, it also bolstered my confidence, and now I even enjoy public speaking. And I never thought I would say that. My own growth was catapulted once I became
more comfortable in my own skin. It’s easy to love your strengths, but learning
to accept your weaknesses with compassion is truly powerful. I used to believe that because of Crohn’s
disease I needed to prove something, or that something was broken within me. That had its utility, as it pushed me to accomplish
more than I ever thought possible. But at a certain point, it no longer worked
for me, and started holding me back, as I soon found myself with workaholic tendencies. I talk about how a relationship lead me to
this breakthrough on my personal Instagram. Spirituality gets a bad rap. You have religion on one extreme, and science
on the other. But spirituality can live in the middle, be
entirely scientific, not based on false realities, and yet profoundly powerful in allowing us
to lead more effective lives. I’m not suggesting you need to believe in
anything mystical at all. If you haven’t explored secular meditation
and mindfulness, I highly suggest you check out Waking Up by Sam Harris. Link in the description below. It’s one of my favorite books I’ve read
this year and it’s entirely scientific, without any mysticism or woo-woo that often
permeates the world of spirituality. You go to the gym to train your body. Why would you not train your mind? Two excellent books, The Subtle Art by Mark
Manson and Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink, both touch on the importance of taking responsibility
for everything in your life. Taking responsibility for something does not
make it your fault. But taking responsibility allows you to take
action, learn, and ultimately benefit from any situation. When I was the passenger in a violent car
accident, it wasn’t my fault that the other driver ran a red light, but it was my responsibility
to handle the aftermath. Responsibility allows for action and learning. Failure to take responsibility leads to inaction. If you enjoyed this video, check out my weekly
newsletter. In it, I share insights and tips once per
week, in addition to helpful tools, resources, articles, and study music. If I’m launching new projects, like my upcoming
podcast, or meeting up with fans, like on my trip to Asia, then this newsletter is where
you’ll hear about it. Visit medschoolinsiders.com/newsletter or
click the link in the description below to sign up. Thank you all so much for watching, and happy
adulting. Are there any tips that you think I missed? Let me know down in the comments if you have
any adulting 101 tips of your own. New videos every Saturday at 8AM, so make
sure you’re subscribed with the notification bell enabled. And I will see you guys in that next one.

59 thoughts on “WHAT I LEARNED THE HARD WAY | Adulting 101

  • Last year I was very passionate about becoming a doctor but lately I’ve been feeling very discouraged about whether or not I want to do it or not. I’m scared I won’t have a life balance and I’m just scared because I don’t want to hurt anyone. Is it common to feel like this?

  • 1. Understand None of Us Have it Figured Out
    2. Question Assumptions & Learn to Think For Yourself
    3. Time Management is a Requirement, not a Luxury
    4. Regularly Reflect & Tweak Your Systems
    5. Embrace Your Fears
    6. Self-Compassion is Not Weakness
    7. Explore Scientific Spirituality
    8. Take Responsibility – For Everything in Your Life

  • Becoming a life-long learner has been the trait that has been most important to me since becoming an adult because it helps me always look for areas to improve in whether that be through books or reflection. I have also begun to realize how much I have changed and how little I used to know and how little I know now, which has made me appreciate every piece of information I learn that much more.

  • “The last one is debatable” haha for the maturity, yess the quote about rising to the level hit me so hard! Ahhh love ur videos Dr.Jabal! I’m so glad u got over ur public speaking fear, keep doing u boo! 😜

  • All you need is money in your adult life. Grades and impressing others don't matter as you thought they would in school.

  • Can’t wait to watch this video after I’m done studying today (on my 5 min pomodoro technique break. This what makes the difference between an A- and an A student, thanks Dr.J!!) Anyway, I’ve got a question for you that most pre meds must be wondering too. What type of laptop should I get for college?!?!

  • This video is so valuable, and I love the way you structured it. I’ve read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck twice now and it also covers entitlement and the victim mentality, something I think we all suffer from from time to time.

  • I found this video incredibly motivating and helpful, and quite entertaining, you are a great Youtuber and your script and animations are on point! Thanks Kevin!

  • I totally agree with you about church, there is nothing in this world that is pure good and light, there is as much light as there is darkness in everything. Thanks for sharing.

  • I really hesitate to say this, but I'm not finding the new material on this channel very helpful anymore. I liked the previous content where you discussed specific studying techniques, but lately I feel the content is much more vague and general. I may have to take your advice from your previous video and unsubscribe this as an unnecessary channel 🙁 Thank you though for your old content though Dr. Jubbal, they were very helpful.

  • My problem is I think I don't know how to think for myself..I do well when someone tells me to do something but when it comes to deciding to do or think for my one self I go blank ..just no ideas ..I have problem in connecting the thinks…but if it's repetition thinking I am cool …what should I do ….each day I am stuck with this thinking and worrying of being dumb and worthless

  • 2:49 – 3:04 This is so relevant in our current political environment. Not everyone is going to agree with you, and that's ok. Discussions should be opportunity to learn about other people's perspectives and to tell your own, not a "My opinion is supreme and you must accept it" fight for dominance.

  • Definitely agree to take responsibility for what occurs in your life. While I understand that it's easy to blame what goes wrong on external circumstances, taking responsibility puts you in the mindset of "what can I do about it" and allows you to take action as Med School Insiders said

  • Hi I'm an IMS.
    I keep failing to stick to systems I have built for myself and return to spontaneous Wake up, study, sleep life style. I want to implement systems better, any tips for that? Or book recommendations?

  • Awesome to see you’re a Jocko Willink fan! You should check out the sequel to “Extreme ownership” entitled, “the dichotomy of leadership.” His podcast is awesome too! They average about 2-2.5 hours but are so full of amazing information!

  • Any advice on how to minimize bureaucratic tasks? They're not included in your Top 5 aspects of life, and they consume painfully large amounts of time for me, and don't seem to be receding in the future.

  • Technically everyone that was successful before you had a very tiny, tiny amount more time in their "24 hour" day. And those that follow you will have even less. I mean it's technically so small it's negligible, but TECHNICALLY!

  • i am currently dealing with the personal growth part and leaving behind unhelpful personality traits, this video has made me feel reassured in my growth! I am truly grateful for this video!

  • I was addicted to games, movies and few things that I can't say. I was addicted in such a way that I forget what is happening in surroundings and do things like playing games etc. I can't avoid these things. Could you help me in leaving these things from my life. Hope you will help me.

  • 00:46 None of us have it figured out
    01:39 Question assumptions and learn to think for yourself
    03:12 Time management is a requirement, not a luxury
    04:22 Regularly reflect and tweak your systems
    05:39 Embrace your fears
    06:23 Self compassion is not weakness
    06:56 Explore scientific spirituality
    07:40 Take responsibility for everything in your life

    As always, time stamps in the description too.

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